


Silver Lining

by sumnawaz



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Minor Violence, Romance, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sumnawaz/pseuds/sumnawaz
Summary: When Hailey and Jay are held hostage at gun point and forced to reveal a secret or be shot, Hailey spills one that she'd been ready to keep in her heart.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	Silver Lining

**Author's Note:**

> An Upstead spin on the season 14 finale of Criminal Minds.

They weren’t quite sure how they’d gotten here.

Well, they were. They’d been chasing down the offender, Eddie, who held Judge Carlyle at gun point and dragged her into a jewelry store. Jay and Hailey kept their guns pointed at him even as he held the store manager to his chest, gun to her temple, amongst the panic of the store as everyone else fled. They kept their guns pointed at him as he forced Judge Carlyle to pick up the gun and point it at the two police officers, only doing so because Eddie held her daughter somewhere.

Eddie forced the store manager to hit the security button, barricading the store containing priceless diamonds and gems and trapping them from the world outside. Jay and Hailey dropped their guns, now staring down the barrels of two others, despite Judge Carlyle holding hers with reluctant and trembling hands, and she followed Eddie’s orders as she picked them up and tossed them aside before duct taping both Jay and Hailey’s hands behind them. They had no choice, not with Eddie still holding a hostage, as they sat on the ground. Carlyle had no choice either, not with her daughter being in danger as well.

“Get on your knees,” Eddie spat at the manager, Jenny, who whimpered as she did so, eyes squeezed tightly and tears escaping them. Eddie pointed his gun at Judge Carlyle then, lifting his chin as he demanded, “Shoot her.”

Jenny let out a sob and Judge Carlyle looked at him, horrified, the gun still in her hands. Hailey’s muscles were tense, wishing Carlyle hadn’t taped her hands so securely. She wondered if the team was outside, knew they were doing everything they could to get them out of the store. But they wouldn’t have a way inside, not with them barricaded so securely, and from where she was sat, she didn’t quite have a view of the security camera in the upper corner behind her.

“Please,” Judge Carlyle begged, her voice trembling.

She was being put in an impossible situation, Hailey knew. She’d seen it enough times on the job to know a mother’s love was both powerful and heartbreaking. Knowing her daughter was being held somewhere because of the man holding a gun to her would force her into a heinous crime she didn’t dare commit.

Hailey’s blue eyes looked at Eddie, giving a shake of her head. “Don’t do this,” she said, unable to seep the warning tone from creeping into her voice. “She’s got nothing to do with this.”

Eddie’s gaze snapped over to her, the fire in them bold, and she watched as he strode over to her, bending down. His free hand grasped the back of her head, her loose blond hair gripped tightly in his fingers yet Hailey refused to flinch, even when he pressed the barrel of the gun under her chin and tilted her head back to keep his eyes on hers.

Jay’s jaw tightened, automatically feeling his body shift, desperately wanting to put some distance between that gun and Hailey. His teeth hurt from how harshly he was clenching them, green eyes sharp and dark, as Eddie sneered at her, “I don’t think I was talking to you.” He was dangerously close to her face, digging the end of the gun into her skin, and as much as his body was screaming at him to do something, Jay knew one wrong move would end shit for good. Fuck. His gaze alone would melt the gun Eddie held. “Talk again and I’ll put a bullet in your partner.”

He let her go jerkily and Hailey glared after him, exhaling sharply through her nose as her gaze shifted over to Jay’s. He looked back, silently asking if she was okay, her response being a single yet assuring nod. They both looked back at Eddie, who seemed to be brimming with frustration that the judge hadn’t made a shot yet.

“You’re taking too long, your Honor,” he decided before his free hand grasped the back of Jenny’s shirt to yank her up. She shrieked, terrified, and both Hailey and Jay sat up, the scene in front of them unfolding too quickly. Eddie pushed Jenny into one of the counters, a stand of necklaces as well as a mirror smashing to the floor as she crashed into it, followed by the single pop of a gunshot as Eddie shot her once, sending her to the floor among the broken jewelry.

Judge Carlyle gasped, frozen in horror, widened eyes looking back at Eddie as he pointed his gun at her. Hailey tried to get a look at Jenny, her heart racing, trying to see if the woman was still alive. But all Hailey could see were her legs, the rest of her obscured behind the counter, and it wasn’t like Jay could look. He was sitting on the ground against the counter that separated him and Jenny. His sharp gaze was on Eddie, no doubt trying to figure out a way out of this where they all made it out alive.

“New game,” Eddie said, eyes on Carlyle, a near sinister smirk tilting at his lips. “You get to shoot one of them. Better make it quick—remember, I’ve got your daughter.”

Hailey’s throat worked. Fuck. She watched Judge Carlyle look at them, the gun still in her hand, pointed in the general direction of both cops but not quite at one of them. Behind her back, Hailey was still trying to work her way out of the duct tape, despite knowing it was more or less useless. They were taped tightly, sticking to her skin painfully. She was all too aware of her heart racing in her chest, refusing to look anything but collected in this moment.

Judge Carlyle, with trembling hands, pointed the gun at Hailey and Jay’s throat threatened to close up as he looked at Eddie and said, “Come on, man, you don’t gotta do this.”

Eddie, who stood behind Carlyle, scowled at Jay, thrusting his gun in the detective’s direction as he snapped, “You don’t get to tell me what I gotta do!” Jay noted the look of pain in Eddie’s face, masked under the hated anger. “You don’t know what it’s like to go to prison for a crime you didn’t commit.” He shifted his gaze back to the judge, tilting his head. “The honorable judge here made a choice and sent me to prison, no matter what I said. Now, she’s gotta make another choice.” He took a menacing step forward, gun pressing into Judge Carlyle’s back, making her jump slightly and the trembling in her hands to grow worse. “She either shoots one of you, or she never sees her daughter again. It’s all up to her.”

Before Judge Carlyle could make a choice—the gun was still pointed towards Hailey—the store phone rang. The shrill ringing cut through the tense silence, making all four of them jump. Hailey’s lips parted, having a feeling of knowing exactly who it was. Voight and the others were probably attempting to set up a line of communication.

Eddie didn’t make any moves to answer it, and Hailey’s gut twisted. How was the team going to negotiate with a man who didn’t want anything except to make the woman he already held hostage pay? He had taken the fall for a crime his partner had committed, had been imprisoned for it and while he was locked up, the so called partner had disappeared and his family wanted nothing to do with him.

They couldn’t negotiate with a man who had nothing left to lose.

“Answer the phone, Eddie,” Jay said, his smooth voice calm and steady. Hailey looked at him to Jenny, who was still on the floor. Hailey couldn’t see if she was bleeding out, but she could so faintly hear the soft whimpers escaping the woman, could see the subtle shift of her legs. She was still alive. “Just answer it, man.”

They watched as Eddie snarled, gun still pointed at Carlyle as he took a step back, reaching behind him with his free hand to rip out the phone’s cord, instantly silencing it. Hailey cursed mentally, jaw tightening as she looked back at Jay. She saw the look he wore under the dull lighting of the store, knew that he was thinking the same thing—that there was probably no negotiating with Eddie.

“You’re taking too fucking long, Judge.” Quickly, then, Eddie snatched the gun out of Judge Carlyle’s hand before using it to shoot her in the leg. The woman went down with a scream of pen, falling to the ground with her upper half propped up by the counter, and Hailey felt herself jerk upwards at the sound of the gunshot. Both hers and Jay’s instincts kicked in to help, to do something other than just sitting around uselessly. But Eddie quickly pointed the gun at them, the fire in his eyes still present. “I don’t think so. Since the judge is too much of a coward to play, which one of you will it be, huh?”

“I’ll do it.” The words were falling past Hailey’s mouth without much thought, all too aware of the sharp, startled look Jay was sending her way. But Hailey didn’t regret it, because now the gun was once again pointed at her which meant it wasn’t on Jay. She didn’t think she could handle watching her partner get shot again. Twice was more than enough. She ignored the rapid beating of her heart, the protesting shift in Jay’s figure as he watched them intently. To Eddie, she agreed, “I’ll play.”

Eddie licked his lips, looking down at her. “Alright then, blondie.” He lifted his chin as Hailey watched him. He looked like he was considering his next few words. “Tell us a secret. One you wouldn’t ever say out loud.”

That. . . Wasn’t quite what she was expecting. But it was better than being forced to choose who to shoot. Her flannel seemed to feel too hot against her skin, but Hailey couldn’t pay any attention to that. A secret? “Okay, um—” Her throat worked, finding her gaze sweeping over to Jay. He was watching her, silently telling her she didn’t have to play Eddie’s game. But maybe it would stall him, long enough for the team to figure out a way inside. Hailey wanted to keep looking at Jay, to revel in the comfort his mere gaze brought her, but she couldn’t risk Eddie getting impatient and shooting one of them. “Uh,” she looked up at the offender, heart drumming. “I was with a, uh, guy who worked in a higher position than me and, um—” Fuck, she felt uncomfortable even uttering this. “I got promoted and to this day I, uh, tell myself it’s because I earned it but sometimes—sometimes I’m afraid that I didn’t and it was all because I was with the wrong person at the time.”

It was insecurity of hers, one she hated to even think about. But it was also an experience that always made her keep things close to the vest, to never let anyone in unless she trusted them with every fiber of her being. It was a rare bond for Hailey, but one she had so easily found in Jay Halstead. She tried not to think of her past, of her meritorious promotion, because every time she worked in Intelligence to solve a case, Hailey was reminded she was right where she belonged. Sleeping with someone who happened to get promoted right before she did had nothing to do with it—she’d told herself that countless times. Yet, it still was a thought that scratched at her like an itch that never disappeared.

She cleared her throat lightly after she finished speaking, watching Eddie, hoping her words were enough. Enough for what, she didn’t know. Hailey doubted he’d let them go even if she gave a satisfactory answer. Truthfully, she had no fucking idea what was going to happen. One glance at Jay—at the clench of his jaw and subtle lowering of his eyebrows—told Hailey he was still trying to figure it out, too.

She caught movement, in that moment. His hands, taped behind him just like hers, were ever so slowly moving, using his fingers to grasp something that may help to cut the tape. Hailey’s breath hitched in her throat, feeling the small pocket of hope open a little bit.

Except Eddie scoffed, scowling down at her, utterly unimpressed as he gave a shake of his head. The damned gun was still pointed at her. “Nah, nah, I don’t think so.” And then he moved the direction of his gun, pulling the trigger as the pop of it burst in Hailey’s ears.

She jerked, a startled gasp and terrified, “ _No_!” escaping her before she could help it, because the bastard had pointed the gun at Jay and Hailey was sure Eddie had just blown his head off.

But the sound of the bullet shooting into the wooden counter, splintering it into pieces as Jay ducked into himself still hadn’t been enough to reassure Hailey that her partner was okay. The harsh sound elicited a scream of fright from Judge Carlyle, but Hailey couldn’t focus on her, or her own thundering heart, as her blue eyes widened and body jerked to move towards Jay.

“Nuh-uh, I don’t think so,” Eddie stopped her, the gun once again on her as she stopped in place. She hated that her hands were tied behind her back. But Hailey’s gaze remained on Jay, watching as he let out a sharp breath and sat up, his green eyes only slightly widened from the shot being so close to his head. He had ducked into himself, moving his head as far away from the splintering would as he could.

Her gaze remained on him, both of their breathing labored, as Jay finally looked up so his green eyes could meet her blue. She saw the subdued panic—a healthy level of panic was necessary for this kind of job—but otherwise he was okay. He nodded at her, expression alarmed, silently telling her this was getting out of hand. She couldn’t agree more, watching as he once again, subtly, continued to try and rip off the tape around his wrists.

“You’ve got one more chance, detective.” Eddie’s voice drew their gazes back to him, and Hailey pressed her lips together as his eyes narrowed at her. He took a menacing step towards her, looking down at her, definitely getting a kick out of having so much power over the bleeding judge and tied up police officers. “A secret you wouldn’t tell anyone—not even your partner here. And you better make it good or next time I won’t miss.”

Hailey’s breathing was labored, an effect of the panic of thinking Jay had been shot and the adrenaline pumping in her veins as she tried to figure out a way out of this. She wondered if the team was having any better luck on the outside. But for now, it was up to them. Up to her.

A secret she wouldn’t tell anyone—not even Jay.

The last thing she wanted to do was play this bastard’s game, to spill secrets she kept close to herself because that’s just who she was. Her personal life was her own, not anyone else’s to exploit. The confession about her promotion had been real, it had been the main reason as to why she had kept her relationship with Ruzek a secret last year. But it hadn’t been the biggest secret Hailey had, and somehow Eddie could tell. He wanted her to confess something she held right in her heart, and the thought of voicing it closed up her throat.

Hailey Upton was not a crier. She could remember only a handful of times she had cried in the last couple of years, and it had all been in situations that would make any sane person emotional. Al’s and Cameron’s separate murders, Garrett’s death, Ruzek getting hauled off to jail, Devin’s suicide in the holding cell, both times Jay was shot and she’d thought he was dead. . .

Jay.

Her throat worked as she looked down at the beige carpet, biting her lower lip as she felt her eyes glass over. She hated crying, wasn’t a fan of showing any kind of vulnerability—especially in front of an offender. But a confession had been something she had been so close to doing a few months ago in the hospital before she had silenced herself. Before she decided against it despite her heart screaming in protest and despite wanting to rid of the disappointed expression Jay had worn when she backed out. Hailey tried not to remember that night, tried not to think of how she got the feeling that Jay knew exactly what she had been wanting to confess, and how they never talked about it after. How they pretended things were like they always were between them.

Her nose burned, a tell tale symptom of the tears that gathered in her eyes as she whispered a soft, “Shit,” under her breath.

“You don’t got all day, detective,” Eddie snapped, the impatience in his voice one not to be prodded at. “Talk before I shoot your partner!”

“Okay, okay!” Hailey sounded, lifting her head as she took a breath. She took in Eddie’s expectant expression, at the gun he held, and Hailey decided if she was going to finally admit to something she’d been keeping to herself for so long, she wasn’t going to do so to the offender.

So she turned her head, blue eyes meeting green, catching the concerned expression that painted across Jay’s face when he took in her features. She could see the strain of his muscles under his jacket as he worked on the tape behind his back, though his eyes never left hers, and Hailey felt a terrified twist of her stomach over the next few moments. She would speak, and nothing would be the same between her and the best damn partner she’s ever had, for better or worse. And though she was pushed to it under threat, she would still be speaking from the heart. It would still be true.

“Jay.” His name fell like an unsteady whisper from her lips, sniffling before she let out a breath. Her heart was pounding, feeling the terror of her confession take over the fright of the situation at hand. Being scared was what kept Hailey from telling Jay all those months ago. Now, it seemed as though she had no choice. She wished the circumstances were different. “I—” She let out a breath through a nervous, anxious, scared smile. But his green eyes were encouraging, always ones she found herself getting lost in, warm and welcoming despite the situation at hand. And so she confessed. “I love you.”

If her confession slammed into him like a truck, then Jay didn’t show it. But Hailey noted the way his forehead smoothed out in surprise, lips parting silently as he looked at her, maybe thrown into a stunned silence. Hailey offered a close mouthed smile as she continued slowly, unsteadily. The words were out. Their relationship would be completely changed from now on. Might as well go all in.

“I’m in love with you,” she said breathily. “I—That’s what I wanted to tell you at the hospital. And—and I didn’t, because I got scared. Because the last partner I loved ended up dead and you’ve come too close to that too many times and it just terrified me. I was selfish for keeping it to myself for so long and I’m selfish for telling you now but—” She let out a breath, offering a sad, accepting smile as she finished, “But you should know.”

Jay stared at her, silent and surprised, and Hailey felt something in her heart twist at the thought of her confession ruining everything between them. The thought of losing Jay as her partner—it was something she had experienced too many times and just wanted to _stop_. He didn’t say anything, just stared at her, took in her words, let them process. What could he say? Hailey didn’t expect a response but. . . At least now he knew. For better or worse.

“Hot damn,” Eddie laughed from where he stood over them, and Hailey had to blink back the tears that had threatened to escape as she looked up at him. He looked pleased, and Hailey’s fingers itched to punch that stupid smile right off his face. “Now _that’s_ a confession! Lucky bastard, aren’t you?” he added, raising his eyebrows at Jay, who merely tightened his jaw as he glared back. Clicking his tongue, Eddie looked back at Hailey before shrugging, “Too bad it ain’t good enough.”

Hailey’s eyes widened at his words, ready to jump as fast as she could and launch herself at Eddie to keep him from pulling the trigger, despite putting her life in more danger than it already was. A gunshot sounded and Hailey froze, watching as Eddie fell to the ground, lips parting, stunned, before she looked over at Jay.

Her partner sat with a gun out, shoulders moving up and down as he breathed, the weapon in his hands as he looked at Eddie’s lifeless body. Hailey’s eyebrows drew together over widened eyes, eyeing the the gun in Jay’s hands that wasn’t his regular sidearm, before her gaze lowered to his legs. She blinked in surprise, catching the ankle holster he wore under his jeans, completely unaware that he started wearing a second weapon.

But instead of sitting there and trying to process what just happened, both Jay and Hailey moved. They got to their feet and Jay quickly ripped off the tape tying Hailey’s hands, and as he went to check on Jenny, Hailey kicked the gun out of Eddie’s dead grip and picked up her own, not finding a pulse on him before she quickly pressed the button to rid the store of the barricade.

The next few moments were a blur; the rest of their team entered, as did EMTs from Med. Hailey kept by Judge Carlyle, who was in tears of relief as Voight assured her they found her daughter, who was being guarded by officers in her room at Med where the Judge was going to be taken. And for a little while, Hailey put her confession out of her mind, didn’t think about how she probably may have ruined her and Jay’s partnership and friendship. Because if she thought about it now, she knew her emotions would get the best of her once the adrenaline wore off.

She could feel his gaze on her from across the room. But Hailey didn’t look back. Not yet.

Hours later, she sat on her couch in the living room, a glass of whiskey in her hand as the TV mindlessly played a show she’d stopped paying attention to a while ago. Rojas was out with the rest of the team, who’d decided on Molly’s after the day they’d had, but Hailey decided to stay home. So she showered, got into some of her comfiest sweats, and tried to put the day behind her.

Easier said than done as the doorbell rang, and when she opened it, the breath caught in her throat at the sight of her partner standing on the other side.

Jay looked down at her, expression soft, as he asked, “Can I come in?”

Hailey refrained from biting her lower lip, heart pounding as she nodded and offered a quiet, “Yeah.”

He entered, stepping up into the dining room, most likely catching sight of the bottle that was placed on the coffee table in the TV room as he familiarly asked, “Pour me a drink?”

She grabbed a glass on her way into the living room, the weight of the couch sinking next to her as Jay sat down to her left after ridding his jacket. She poured him the drink, handing the glass over and picking up her own. It felt normal. Like what they always did after a tough case. But it wasn’t, Hailey knew that.

They were silent, the only sound emitting from the TV, as Hailey looked down at her glass. She wanted to say something, anything, but Jay had beat her to it. “You know, for two people who don’t have the best track record for work place romance, we’re doing a shit job at it.”

Hailey let out a light scoff, finger tracing the rim of her glass. She didn’t meet his gaze as she reminded him, “We don’t have a work place romance.”

“What if we did?”

Hailey’s grip on her glass tightened so she didn’t drop it, finally looking over at the man sitting next to her. Jay was already watching her, green eyes intent, looking for something in her features. Her breath was locked in her throat, wondering if she’d heard him right, wondering if this was going where she so badly wanted it to, but was scared. She hated being scared. Especially with Jay—someone she trusted with everything in her, the person she’d follow anywhere and knew she would get the same in return.

_What if we did?_

He wanted something more. Just like she did. And that both thrilled and frightened Hailey. Would they be making a mistake? Would they still be able to do their jobs if they were partners and something more at the same time? Neither of them had a good history with that, she knew—what would make them so different that they wold work?

Hailey looked at Jay, and it was like he knew exactly what was going through her head, because he set down his glass and turned his body to face hers. “Hailey, you and I? We work. There’s something here that’s so much more than just a partnership, and I know you feel it too. Having you as my partner, my best friend—it’s more than I could’ve ever asked for. But I can’t sit back knowing there’s a chance for us to be more.” He let out a breath, offering a shake of his head. “Not when I know what I feel for you isn’t just one sided.”

Her eyes widened, blue eyes taken aback as she looked up at him. Her heart was drumming, skin flushing, as she pathetically stammered out, “Y-You—”

“Yeah,” Jay nodded, a light, short chuckle escaping him as his lips quirked up into an endearing smile. “Yeah; I love you, too, Hailey. I should’ve said it a while back so. . . That makes the two of us being scared to say it.”

She looked up at him, at the handsome, charming man who was also the best partner she ever had. And despite the fear still twisting her stomach, Hailey would be lying if she said she didn’t also detect the excitement, the overwhelm of knowing that he felt the same way. And to hear him say it, to hear him say that he loved her too, well that had the air rushing out of her lungs and heart jumping in her chest. He loved her too and it was the best thing she had ever heard in her life.

“We go forward with this and. . . Everything will change. You know that, right?” Hailey asked. Despite her heart telling her to shut up, to not give him a chance to back out, Hailey knew she owed it to him. She just needed to remind him, and herself, about what they would be getting into if they decided to act on these confessions.

A corner of Jay’s lips curled upwards, a boyish smirk she’d grown so fond of over the years. “I don’t think it will,” he responded confidently, the signature Jay Halstead smugness coming out to play. “We’ll still be us—except with a whole lot of this.”

She raised her eyebrows at his words, heart racing and feeling the smile curl her own lips as they greeted Jay’s in a kiss. His warm hands cupped her face as she leaned into him, moving her lips with his own, feeling the flush of warmth and shock of the electricity that shot through her body. Her right hand was still holding her glass of whiskey, but her left slid up Jay’s chest and fisted the material of his shirt, keeping him close as they got lost in the kiss. One that had been a long time coming, melting into each other and the warmth, comfort, and safety they provided.

Despite herself, Hailey couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she kissed Jay, feeling his own lips tilt upwards into an adorable grin of his own. Today had been a rough one, no doubt about it, but if there was a silver lining, this would be it.


End file.
